Turn my dreams into reality?
by beauboss
Summary: Chloe hasn't spoken to Beca since graduation and it breaks her heart to not speak to the brunette anymore. Still having secret feelings for Beca, Chloe's promised herself to forget about her but what happens if she runs into her again one night? Following their train wreck kind of, emotional night.
1. Chapter 1

Turn my dreams into reality?

Chapter 1

Chloe was laying on her couch in her bright apartment playing on her phone and texting her friends about their girls night out. She scrolled through her messages feeling the familiar urge to text her... She past her name and saw her photo, the same photo she had had for months. Her cheeky smile and deep blue eyes still made Chloe's stomach twist, she hated herself for that. Chloe wanted to forget about her, she was done with texting her and nothing getting a response or calling and going straight to voicemail. Despite her attempts to forget about her, Chloe still tensed up when her phone rang, hoping she'd call.

With a sigh she stopped herself before she'd do something she'd regret later and dialed her best friend's number and waited for her to pick up impatiently. She heard a short knock on her door and sighed as she got up. By the time she got to the door Aubrey finally answered her phone.

"Hey!"

"Hey, where are you?" Chloe tugged her phone between her ear and her shoulder as she opened the door.

"I'm right here" Aubrey chuckled ending the call. Chloe squealed and dropped her phone as she pulled Aubrey into a bone crushing hug.

She hadn't seen Aubrey in weeks since the blonde had been busy with her company and Chloe herself had been quite busy getting used to her job as a music teacher. After graduation she had found an apartment close to the school she was going to work at and not that far away from LA and now she had been a teacher for nearly six months. She loved combining her love for music with her passion for teaching.

"So how have you been?" She pulled Aubrey inside and took her coat as they moved to her big living room.

"Good, busy," Aubrey smiled as they sat down on the couch, "and you? Still love the kids?" She grinned.

"I am fine thank you and yes I still love teaching," Chloe laughed shoving her friend playfully.

In the first weeks of teaching she had called Aubrey multiple times almost having a break down because she thought she wouldn't be good enough to teach. She had been so nervous about teaching, scared that she'd let down the kids or that she'd fail. It had taken Aubrey more than a few attempts till she finally convinced Chloe that everything was going to be okay. And she had been right, of course, the kids loved Chloe and she loved teaching.

"But let's not talk about work! Tonight's girls night, time to talk about boys and stuff," she beamed bouncing in her chair excitedly. Aubrey raised an eyebrow eyeing her overexcited friend.

"So boys now huh? What happened to your-" She had an amused look on her face when Chloe quickly interrupted her.

"No, we are not going to talk about that either!" Chloe ordered holding up her hand to shush her friend.

"Chloe..." Aubrey sighed giving her a sympathetic look.

"Don't give me that look, it's fine. I know nothing will happen between us, ever, she moved to LA and probably doesn't even remember me... I gave up on even trying to reach out to her and she hasn't tried to contact me in any way, so it's fine," Chloe's voice went from being bubbly to sounding down as she thought about the brunette. Aubrey rolled her eyes and placed her hand on Chloe's gently.

"I'm sure Beca still remembers you! And LA is like 15 or 30 ish minutes away from here, depends on where she decided to live. I mean you're totally right for not messaging her, she's been acting like a moron the past few months, but Beca would never forget about you."

The mentioning of her name made Chloe's heart ache and her stomach churn. She hadn't seen or spoken to the girl since graduation. Of course they had promised each other to keep in touch but of course they hadn't, in fact it was Beca who had shut Chloe out of her life out of the blue...

It had broken Chloe's heart to lose contact with the deejay like that. She had secretly fallen in love with her the moment she had laid eyes on her during her Bellas audition. The two had become best friends and Chloe had helped Beca with running the Bellas after Aubrey had graduated. Beca had been there for her when Chloe failed her Russian literature, which obviously wasn't on purpose unlike she told everyone. Not talking to Beca anymore had hurt terribly and it took everything she had to not text Beca again after the long letter she had sent her a few weeks ago.

In the letter she had asked Beca for an explanation, for answers. She had told Beca how badly she was hurting and how much she missed having the brunette in her life. But Chloe knew that if Beca wouldn't answer the letter it would be her last try to contact her again. Every day Chloe had anxiously gone through her post hoping to find a letter from Beca, but she never did. Now her sadness had turned into anger. She started to hate Beca for letting her fall like this...

Chloe shook her head trying to get rid of the thoughts that started running through her mind and smiled weakly.

"So how's Skylar?" She asked referring to Aubrey's boyfriend of seven months now. All their friends had been surprised when Aubrey told them she was seeing someone, Aubrey just wasn't into those things at Barden but now they were living together and Aubrey was happier than ever.

"You know she broke up with Jesse, right? I read it in some magazine," Aubrey stated ignoring Chloe's attempt to change the subject. Chloe just nodded. Beca's break through got her into the spotlights. Chloe had read some articles about Beca, since the brunette had had a huge break through after graduation, and a few weeks ago she read about her break up with Jesse. Of course she felt bad for him since Beca was rumored to have broken up with him but she also kind of relieved.

As long as she had known Beca it had been torture to see her with Jesse the way she couldn't be with the brunette. Seeing Jesse being able to kiss her, to hold her hand and cuddle with her in public made her feel jealous, they cuddled when Chloe forced Beca to watch a movie with her and they even held hand sometimes when they were out together and Chloe's hands got cold. But Chloe knew it would always be in a platonic way, especially if Beca was still with Jesse. Beca and Chloe did become very close in the few years they spent together. Chloe got to know Beca as she let down her walls and Beca saw right through Chloe's fake smiles.

"It didn't surprise me, Jesse was nice and all but he wasn't what she deserves," Chloe muttered fiddling with the bracelets around her wrist.

"What does she deserve? You?" Aubrey asked quirking a brow. Chloe glared at her friend and shrugged.

"Alright stop pouting, tonight's gonna be fun! Stacie and Jessica should be here any minute and then we can go! Just a night out with the girls, no boys, I mean love interests in any way, and a good time! And maybe so alcohol..." Aubrey cheered with a wink and Chloe perked up.

Aubrey was right she shouldn't be moping about this anymore, she had to move on and tonight was the perfect opportunity to start doing just that!

"You're right! Let's get this party started!" Chloe exclaimed dancing in her chair making the blonde laugh. The two began to prepare some drinks as they waited for their other friends to arrive. When Stacie and Jessica arrived they had some more drinks and then called a cab to take them to the club they were planning to visit.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Stacie, Jessica, Aubrey and Chloe were standing outside waiting in line to get into the club, the line was moving slowly and since it was already autumn it was pretty cold. Chloe rubbed her arms trying to keep warm as Aubrey complained, "why is it so crowded tonight?! God is the president in there or something...?"

Chloe looked around and noticed that the bigger part of the waiting crowd were girls probably a few years younger than her wearing fake tattoos and ear monstrosities, as Aubrey liked to call them. For some odd reason they reminded her of Beca, which was crazy since they looked nothing like the beautiful brunette. When they finally got to the bouncer, Chloe could hear the music coming through the door.

"Who is playing tonight?" She asked Stacie as the music sounded slightly familiar. Stacie shrugged before showing the bouncer her ID card and shooting him a wink before going inside. Trying to remember where she knew the beat of the song from Chloe followed her friends inside. Inside it was warm and everyone was dancing, drinking or flirting. Aubrey grabbed Chloe's hand as the moved through the crowd on their way to the bar to get some drinks.

"First drinks are on me!" Stacie shouted over the music.

They got their drinks and sat down on some sofas that were placed on the side of the club. Sipping her drink Chloe bobbed her head to the bass of the music watching the people that were dancing on the dance floor.

Her thoughts drifted to the first time Beca had had her first official job as a deejay. She had been freaking out and Chloe had been there to calm her down. She had accompanied her to the club and they had had an amazing night. The club owner gave them free drinks and let Chloe be around Beca all the time even though she was working. Beca had linked her fingers with Chloe as she played her song making sure she'd stay close to her side.

After her shift Beca had thanked Chloe multiple times and didn't let go of Chloe's hand the rest of the night. Their goodbye later that night had felt different, Chloe remembered, Beca had hugged her just a little bit longer, a little bit tighter, and she had 'goodbye' instead of their usual a 'see you later'. Now Chloe knew it would be the last night they'd spent together like that. The beginning of Beca cutting her off...

A nudge from Aubrey brought her back from her thoughts and the blonde mouthed that they were going to dance. Chloe nodded and got up to join them. They moved to the dance floor and Chloe could see there was a deejay booth set up in front of them but the deejay wasn't there yet. Chloe grabbed Aubrey's hands and they danced together swinging and dancing to the songs that were playing. They laughed and were having a great time until Aubrey suddenly stood still.

"Holy shit..." She muttered under her breath but Chloe couldn't hear her.

"What was that?" She asked frowning as Aubrey looked past her. Chloe turned around and Aubrey tried to stop her but she was too late. Chloe heart dropped and her breath caught in her throat. There she stood, behind the deejay booth. There stood Beca, Beca Mitchell.

Chloe couldn't move as she watched the brunette getting ready for her next set. She was wearing a white v neck shirt and a sleeveless hoodie with the zipper half way up. Chloe couldn't help but smile at the petit girl's habit of wearing her headphones around her neck. When Beca walked away again Chloe panicked. Despite Aubrey trying to pull her back she went after her following her to the bathroom.

Before entering Chloe paused and saw Beca standing in front of the mirror her hands on both sides of the sink. Beca took a deep breath before looking at herself in the mirror. The brunette rubbed her face and sighed, stress practically radiating off her body and her knuckled white from gripping onto the sink. Chloe could feel her heart beat in her throat as she watched the brunette run a hand through her hair. She looked exhausted and stressed and before Chloe could overthink her decision she opened the door.

Beca didn't look away from the mirror but glanced at someone entering the room. Realizing it wasn't just some fan asking for her autograph she slowly turned around her eyes widened. She faced the redhead and there was an awkward, heavy silence as she admired Chloe. She was just as gorgeous as she had always been if not ever more beautiful. Beca stood there gaping at her when Chloe spoke up.

"Hey Beca" Chloe greeted softly.

The voice of the redhead brought butterflies to Beca's stomach like it had done so many times before. Her hands got cold and sweaty as she couldn't get any words past her lips. She felt a lump in her throat and her stomach clenched. Her heart pounded rapidly against her ribs and all the pushed away memories came flooding back.

Chloe bit her bottom lip impatiently waiting for Beca to respond to her but all Beca could do was stare at her and wonder if she was having a nervous breakdown. She had been under a lot of pressure and she had thought about the redhead a lot, well honestly, she had never stopped thinking about her. Chloe cleared her throat and Beca finally said something.

"I- uh hi" she stumbled a hint of a smile tugging at her lips. She swallowed hard and let out a nervous cough before speaking up again. "What are you doing here?" She asked planning on casually leaning back against the sink but failing and almost falling.

"Be careful!" Chloe exclaimed as she grabbed Beca's arm to keep her on her feet. Beca mentally kicked herself as she turned bright red while she tried to steady herself.

"Well that was embarrassing.." She huffed giving Chloe an apologetic look making the redhead chuckle. Beca noticed the hand on her arm and Chloe quickly pulled it away.

"So are you alone or?"

"I'm with Aubrey, Stacie and Jessica-" Chloe's eyes widened in horror, " oh god I left them without an explanation when I went after you..."

"You went after me?" Beca asked ignoring the mentioning of the other old Bellas she hadn't seen in so long. Chloe blushed and smiled sheepishly at her.

"I wanted to make sure it was you," she lied. Of course she had been sure it was her. "It's good to see you, long time no see huh?"

Though Chloe looked like she was okay with it Beca knew for sure that the redhead was mad at her for not contacting her after graduation like she'd promised. When Beca was about to apologize someone came in and told Beca to hurry up. Beca thanked her and waited for the woman to leave before she spoke to Chloe.

"I have to go but please stay till the end of my shift? Maybe we can talk?"

Chloe wanted to say no, she wanted to turn away from the beautiful eyes that were begging her to stay. She had spent the past few weeks trying to not think about her, to forget about her. But those eyes, those deep blue eyes looked at her and right through her. They were asking her to stay and she felt herself giving in. Even though she knew she shouldn't... Beca had hurt her so much by cutting her off and Chloe hated her for that. But looking at her now made it impossible to feel any form of hate towards the brunette.

Beca could see the hesitation in Chloe's eyes and carefully took the redhead's hand into her own. Chloe watched her but didn't pull away. "Please." She said just above a whisper, her eyes on Chloe who averted her gaze. Chloe looked up again and sighed. Of course she couldn't fight the urge to say no. She felt weak for giving in this easily...

"I will wait." She nodded trying to control her thoughts as Beca ran her thumb over her hand absently. Beca broke into a thankful smile and squeezed her hand briefly.

"Thank you. Oh and drinks are on me," she winked, "for you and the rest. If they don't want to wait up for you I'll make sure you'll get home safe, okay?" Again Chloe found herself nodding.

Beca smiled again and then walked away holding onto Chloe's hand as long as possible. Before she left she faced Chloe once more and then went back to her deejay booth. Chloe closed her eyes and let out a trembling breath which she had been holding as Beca let go of her hand. Still confused and in a daze she went to look for her friends. She found them having a drink at the bar. Feeling numb and miserable she walked up to them. She had spent so much time thinking about the words she shout at Beca if she'd gotten the change, but all she did was give in. So easily, so rapidly. She had planned on calling Beca out for everything she could think of, to let her know it was definitely not okay to act the way she had, but still Chloe had agreed to stay and not said a word...

When Aubrey spotted Chloe she gave her friend a concerned look and got up from her stool to give Chloe a place to sit.

"Chloe?" She asked carefully.

"Drinks are on Beca" Chloe said coldly as she ordered another drink. Now that Beca was out of sight again she felt the anger bubble in her chest again. Suddenly the words she couldn't find earlier came back and she regretted allowing the brunette to still be able to have that effect on her. The effect of making Chloe's knees weak and her heartbeat race. Making Chloe believe that Beca still cared, giving her the false hope again that had hurt Chloe so many times before.

"Beca? Beca Mitchell?" Stacie asked as she looked around for the small brunette.

"Jup that one..." Chloe mumbled before taking a sip from her drink.

"Chloe, what happened in there?" Aubrey asked placing a hand on Chloe's forearm to prevent her from drinking too fast. Chloe shrugged as she finished her drink in one gulp, she wanted the alcohol to get to her head fast then maybe she'd be ready to talk to Beca. Maybe her eyes and her bright smile wouldn't be so mesmerizing if they were a little blurry.

"She asked me to wait for her so we can talk after her shift."

"And?"

"And I'm going to wait and listen to what she has to say to me." Chloe was about to order another drink but Aubrey stopped her and waved off the bartender. Seeing Beca had caught her off guard but now anger started to fill up her thought again as she remembered what Beca had put her through and Aubrey could see Chloe's mind race.

"Okay you have to take it easy there. When does her shift end?"

Chloe's shoulders slumped as she looked at her friend. She didn't know. Aubrey nodded understandingly and let out a long breath. "Alright, well let's grab a nonalcoholic drink and sit down so we can wait for her," Aubrey stated leading Chloe away from the bar and towards one of the sofas close to them.

"You guys don't have to wait up, she said she'll get me home safe" Chloe objected as Aubrey sat her down.

"I'm sure she does but I'd like to have a word with her as well, ask her why she had her head up her a-"

"Aubrey don't" Chloe warned sternly, "I'm just gonna hear her out and we'll see."

Chloe looked around the crowd and spotted the same Beca look-a-like fans gaping at the brunette as she played her songs. She felt a hint of jealousy tugging at her every time the deejay smiled at one of the girls. Mentally chastising herself for even caring she shook her head. Weak, she thought.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

After two hours Beca's shift was finally over. She had been able to see the redhead from her booth and could tell that she was not amused. Beca packed up her stuff and with the strap of her laptop bag over her shoulder she walked over to Chloe and the other girls.

"Hey guys," Beca greeted cautiously as she received a glare from Aubrey, "I'm sorry it took so long."

She placed her bag on the floor carefully and sat down on the couch opposite of the one Chloe was on. She gave the waiter a thankful smile as he brought her a glass of water.

"So I think it's time for us to go now," Stacie said trying to get away from the awkward situation. Aubrey tried to object but Chloe reassured her she'd be fine. With reluctance the blonde got up.

"I'll get her home safe, Aubrey, I promise." Beca offered the blonde a smile but was met with another glare. She gave up and let her smile fall, she knew why Aubrey was mad at her, she'd do the same thing if someone would hurt her best friend, pretty stupid she was now the reason her best friend was hurt, or former best friend...

"I know you will, Beca, just don't make me regret not hating you anymore..." She warned and Beca could hear the threat in her voice. The brunette gave her an understanding nod and said goodbye to the rest of the old Bellas.

Once they were gone Chloe didn't speak up and just sipped her drink waiting for Beca to say what she had to say. Beca cleared her throat awkwardly stirring her water with her straw.

"Sooo, what did you think?" She asked sipping her drink trying to break the tensed silence between the two of them that felt heavy on her chest.

She could tell the redhead was pissed off and she couldn't blame her for it. She'd acted like an ass the past few months by not calling or texting her but she had no idea how to apologize for it. She didn't want to lie to Chloe but she was too scared to tell the truth. She was too frightened to tell her favorite redhead how she really felt, how it had broken her to loose contact this way even if it was her own fault.

She had convinced herself it was better this way but seeing Chloe now, being able to really see her, changed her mind completely. It made her feel like an idiot for letting go, for leaving and it made the ache from missing Chloe even more painful .

Even while pissed off, Chloe had never looked more beautiful. She looked grown up, in a good way of course, she looked so calm, like she had everything under control. The opposite of how Beca had felt the past few weeks, she had felt out of control and the complete opposite of calm. Beca's question was answered with a simple shrug and she could feel her heart fall. She tried to swallow but her throat felt closed up. When Chloe finally spoke up her voice sounded sharp and cold.

"Why did you ask me to wait? Not to ask my opinion on your set I hope?" Chloe asked crossing her arms over her chest.

Beca's attention got drawn away by Chloe's outfit. The white blouse that hugged her waist just fine and the tight black jeans that looked like they'd been drawn onto her skin. Chloe cleared her throat to bring the brunette's attention back to her question again. She felt the heat rising up her cheeks knowing Beca was checking her out. Beca blushed and stammered as she tried to speak up wearing a caught look on her face.

Chloe felt a smile tugging at her lips because of the brunette's familiar stammering but quickly masked it by taking a sip. She wasn't giving in just yet, not before she had a proper explanation for the brunette's ridiculous behavior. Beca tried to clear her throat and frowned at the lack of words that came from her mouth.

"Sorry, I uh, I don't really know what to say," she sighed and shook her head swallowing hard as she continued, "I didn't really make up a plan before I came to talk to you but I wanted you to stay."

Chloe fought the urge to roll her eyes, after all this time suddenly Beca wanted her around again, after weeks of silence she suddenly felt the need to talk, to bring Chloe back into her life again? Chloe clenched her jaw and looked away from Beca's deep blue eyes. Boy had she missed looking into those eyes like she had before during their long conversations, had she missed the touch of her tender hands that never failed to sooth her.

"I'm sorry, Chloe." Beca said just above a whisper, her voice sounded small and broken. Chloe could barely hear her but knew exactly what Beca had said. It echoed in her ear and made her heartbeat speed up. She looked up again and her eyes locked with Beca's. The pain and guilt written in Beca's eyes made it impossible to look away, it felt like Chloe could drown in those ocean deep eyes.

"Please say something..." Beca begged, her hands nervously fiddling with the ring around her thumb. The longer Chloe remained silent the more it felt like her heart was failing to beat. The silence hurt and felt thicker with every second that passed.

Eventually Chloe's voice cut through the air, snapping Beca out of her thoughts. "How could you just cut me off like that?" Chloe asked, her voice wavering as tears filled her eyes.

Beca had expected the question but it still made her stomach churn. _Because I was scared. Because I didn't want to get hurt. Because I love you..._

"I don't know." Was all she said. Immediately she squeezed her eyes shut regretting her answer.

Chloe's eyes widened and her chest filled up with anger. She had tried to stay neutral but now she lost it.

"You don't know?! That is such a bullshit answer, Beca!"

Beca didn't flinch at the sudden rage and fought the urge to shut Chloe out like she had done to people so many times before. It'd be so easy to just shut her out and give careless answers, leaving all emotions out and it had begun to feel like a habit since it came so easily to her. Every time something got too complicated, too painful Beca felt the need to cut it off and shut it out. But she knew it would only upset the redhead more, and after all she had done to Chloe, hurting her more wasn't an option

. "I know you're lying, you looked away for too long and I can tell you're not telling the truth. So tell me Beca, what did I do to you to make you hate me? To make you shut me out of your life like that and just leave me like that?"

"I don't hate you, you know that" Beca mumbled averting her gaze from Chloe staring down on her.

"Then what is it?" Chloe asked impatiently. When Beca didn't answer she scoffed and got up grabbing her bag. "Fine, don't tell me. Just shut me out like everyone else in your life. You hurt me Beca, you hurt me so bad but I'm done, I'm not going to let you hurt me like this anymore. Don't contact me again, I mean don't bother, but you didn't bother anyways."

Her voice weakened as a tear ran down her cheek. She shook her head and started to walk away when Beca grabbed her wrist. Spinning around she glared at her wrist and then at Beca. The brunette looked broken and hurt.

Beca wanted to try everything she could to make Chloe stay but she knew she couldn't make her, she couldn't force her to forgive her. She knew she had to respect her decision and let her go but she just couldn't. She knew there was only one way, one last change to explain it to Chloe. It would be a big risk but she had to let her know how she felt, telling her was the only way to make her stay or at least give her some kind of explanation for her ridiculous behavior even though it could scare her away as well.

"Stay," Beca said just above a whisper trying to look into Chloe's eyes. Chloe felt her heart clench and her throat suddenly went dry making it hard to speak. She opened her mouth to say something but the words got stuck on the back of her tongue. "Please stay. I know I have no right to ask you this but don't leave."

When Chloe didn't answer her request Beca sighed. Nodding she understood she couldn't convince Chloe so she gave up. She didn't know everything inside Chloe was telling her to stay, shouting to make her give in. She didn't know it took everything in the redhead's power to not collapse and forgive Beca, but she didn't.

Beca swallowed thickly, swallowing away her disappointment, and said, "Alright, I am in no place to ask you to stay, let me at least get you home safe? I'll get us a cab and I'll get you to your house." The defeated tone of her voice made Chloe's heart ache but she found herself just nodding in agreement. With reluctance Beca let go of Chloe, since she was still clutching onto her wrist, and got her jacket and her laptop.

Outside they waited for a cab a painful silence accompanying them. A black car pulled up in front of them and a man wearing one of those caps those fancy chauffeurs wear, got out and held the door open for Chloe. Chloe thanked him and got in shooting Beca a questioning yet surprised look. Beca couldn't help but smile and thank James for picking them up.

"No problem, ms Mitchell, you know you can always call us. She refuses to let me drive her anywhere even though I'm her assigned chauffeur," he chuckled as he started the engine.

Beca looked away avoiding Chloe's glances. Chloe knew Beca had gotten kind of famous in the past months but a private chauffeur?

"Thank you, James, but as you know I like to drive to my shifts myself, tonight is just an exception" she mumbled.

"I see, well I'm sure your company is very special, since you never call me on nights like this," he smirked shooting Chloe a wink.

"She's just a friend" Beca said quickly, sounding nervous, Chloe could tell. James shrugged and stopped for a red light.

"So where are we heading tonight, ladies?" When Beca remained silent Chloe told him her address and he nodded saying it'd be around 25 minutes before they'd get there. Chloe sat back and looked out of the window watching the people they passed as they drove through the crowded streets. Every once in a while she glanced at Beca to make sure this was really happening.

She had thought about this moment a lot, the moment she'd see her again, but nothing could've prepared her for this. She could basically feel the distance between the two of them, the awkwardness. She had always imagined their reunion to be, well, different.

Maybe she watched too many movies but she had expected it to be less awkward, less cold. But how could she expect that if didn't even know what she wanted from Beca? On one hand she wanted Beca to fight for her, to not give up on her and tell her she wouldn't stop before Chloe forgave her, but on the other hand she wanted her to leave her alone and just disappear so Chloe could get over her. But none of those two had happened, Beca didn't fight but she didn't let her go either. Beca was just there making it even harder for Chloe to let her go.

Chloe closed her eyes and sighed wishing this night had never happened. Beca noticed the way Chloe's shoulders slumped and knew Chloe's mind was on the same subject as her own. Different scenarios kept running through Beca's mind but none of them gave her an idea on how to fix things without hurting Chloe or scaring her away. Screw it, she thought as James waited for a bicyclist to cross the road.

"Give me one more chance," she said and Chloe opened her eyes again.

"Beca-"

"Please," Beca spoke softly, she was preparing to beg, she was prepared to do anything to convince Chloe to say yes. "I know I don't deserve it and that I hurt you but one chance? A last chance." Chloe didn't know if she was just tired or that Beca actually convinced her, but she gave in.

"Okay, Beca," she said in a breath and Beca's heart made a leap of joy.

"Thank you, I was prepared to beg you know? Go down on my knees and all," she grinned feeling a part of the heavy weight on her shoulders disappear. Chloe felt it too and fought the smile tugging at her lips. She shook her head, there was no way that she was going to give in that easily.

"Maybe I should've waited before I gave in then..." She couldn't help but smirk a little. Beca let out a soft laugh and said she was glad she hadn't had to go there. She informed James on their change of plans and he just nodded.


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry it took me a little longer than planned... But here you go! Please let me know what you think!**

Chapter 4

A good twenty minutes later they stopped in front of a big skyscraper, one of those you see on one of those skyline posters. Chloe looked up as she got out of the car and let out an impressed whistle. Beca said nothing and gestured to the door holding it open for Chloe. Chloe still felt an awkward distance between the two of them so quickly walked through the door way.

She followed Beca through the lobby and the brunette greeted a man at the elevator. The man got in as well and pressed two buttons making it hard for Chloe to figure out which one was Beca's stop.

"Had a good night, Mitchell?" The tall man asked facing Beca who looked even smaller mext to him. The man wore a grey suit and his hair was combed back neatly but he had a warm smile as he spoke to Beca.

"Yeah, good crowd, tough day at the office?"

The man let out groan in response and rolled his eyes. Beca chuckled and hummed as a sign of recognition.

"And who is this beautiful lady?" He asked smiling at Chloe. Chloe blushed slightly and tried to look anywhere but at him.

"An old friend, we went to the same university. Chloe meet mr Dawson Johnson, a very talented lawyer and good friend of mine."

"Please, call me Dawson," he said as he held out his hand. Chloe shook it politely and Beca couldn't help it but feel a twinge of jealousy as he held onto her hand for just a bit too long.

The first time the elevator smoothly came to a halt Dawson got out again and they were alone. The second stop Beca got out and Chloe followed her through a small hallway that led to a door that Chloe assumed was her front door. Beca grabbed her key and held the door open to let Chloe in. Inside Chloe walked into the big living room with a panoramic view over the entire city. The room wasn't really decorated but there was a big white couch in the center of the room and a a flat screen in front of it. In front of the window there was a desk with her music equipment on it and a stack of papers on the side. There weren't any photo frames covering the walls or on the table, Chloe could only see a few taped to the window behind her desk.

"A penthouse," she muttered to herself, "of course." She rolled her eyes at how it didn't even surprise her how well Beca was doing, but it stung her that she knew she wasn't part of the deejay's happiness and success.

"My manager bought it for me, I haven't had time to decorate," Beca stated as she watched Chloe look around. She wasn't in the apartment much and slept in hotels most of the time, and all the photos she had reminded her of Chloe so she didn't feel like decorating, expect for a few photos that were important to her. Those photos reminded her of how far she'd come and they reminded her of the good things in the past.

"Can I get you something to drink?" Beca asked. She was still near the doorway giving Chloe the space she wanted.

Chloe moved to her desk and took a closer look at the photos. There was one of her and Amy and Jesse, one of her dad and one of the old Bellas all together in their graduation outfit. Then her eyes landed on one she hadn't seen in a long time, it was one of her and Beca underneath an umbrella facing each other. The scene had taken place in Copenhagen during the world championships. Chloe remembered the moment clearly because that summer she had been in love with Beca more than ever. She had known it'd be her last summer with the brunette and they had been closer than before. It was one of the reasons why it hurt even more when Beca didn't contact her anymore.

"Chloe?" Chloe snapped out of her thoughts and faced Beca with a questioning frown. Beca chuckled and repeated her question.

"No thank you." Beca nodded but walked to the kitchen anyways. Chloe followed her and was again surprised by a big bright kitchen with a counter island in the middle. Beca got a beer out of the fridge and sat down on one of the stool that stood next to the island. She sighed and took a sip from the bottle.

"Beca?" Beca put her bottle down and looked at Chloe. "Why am I here?" It was a hard wake up call to Beca as it reminded her of why Chloe was in her apartment. She took another swig as she got off the stool again. She walked past Chloe and gestured towards a door on the other side of the living room. Chloe followed her but hesitated when Beca opened the door and Chloe saw it was her bedroom. Beca noticed her lingering in the doorway and smiled.

"Come on in, I won't bite" she grinned mockingly. Chloe rolled her eyes and walked in still not feeling at ease being in Beca's bedroom. Beca let out a tensed exhale and ran her hand through her hair. Chloe could tell Beca was hesitant.

"Just say it Beca," she sounded a bit snappy, annoyed even. Chloe had been overwhelmed when she had walked into Beca's penthouse but as it was wearing off she knew why she was there again. Suddenly she really wanted to leave and asked herself why she had given in in the first place. Apparently Beca could read the regret off her face as she spoke up again, her voice barely louder than a whisper.

"I can tell you regret your decision of agreeing to come with me, your eyes are still like an open book to me, but I want you to know that I'm very grateful that you want to hear me out," Beca sighed rubbing the back of her neck awkwardly. Chloe just nodded and Beca continued.

"I deeply regret that I shut you out like that, I really do. I read all your texts, your emails, your voicemails and I read the letter you sent me."

Chloe could feel the anger building up in her chest again but she remained silent as Beca reached for the drawer of her nightstand. Chloe didn't know what Beca was planning but knowing Beca read all her attempts to contact her infuriated Chloe even more. Somewhere deep down she had hoped that maybe Beca hadn't gotten any of her messages, that she just didn't know, at least that was what Chloe had told herself the first few weeks that Beca started to shut her out. She noticed that Beca was holding the letter Chloe had written to her but also an envelop with Chloe's name on it.

"I want you to know, Chloe, that I never ever meant to hurt you," she paused and shook her head, "I know that is hard to believe after what I've done to you... But please trust me when I say that there is nothing I regret more than hurting you like that..." she mumbled looking at her feet as she walked up to Chloe. When she was close enough she lifted her gaze from the ground to meet the bright blue eyes looking back at her. She could read her anger, her pain but also her hesitation, her fear.

"It took me three weeks, 2 pencils, some sleepless night, dozens of attempts and even more sheets of paper to write this but I never dared to send it to you. You see, and you probably know, I am not that good with feelings so I tried my best to write them down but I was never satisfied. I know now that what I felt couldn't be explained with words but I made an attempt. Take your time, read it here or take it home with you, I can tell James to bring you home, but please read it. This is my last request before you can cut me off completely, I won't blame you if you do. But read it. Please." With that Beca handed Chloe the envelope, her hands trembling slightly. Chloe fingers grazed Beca's as she took the letter and it made her stomach clench. She held the envelope in her hands, it felt heavy even though she knew it couldn't weigh more than a few grams. It felt like it carried all the answer Chloe had wanted but now she didn't even remember the questions anymore...

Beca cleared her throat softly.

"Do you want me to leave you alone or?" She asked waiting for Chloe to finally say something.

"I'd like to go home now," Chloe said her voice neutral and calm, almost emotionless. Beca felt a pang to her chest by Chloe's decision but nodded.

"Sure, I'll tell James you'll be down in a minute." She tried her best to mask the hurt tone in her voice. Beca left the room and grabbed her phone to text James biting her bottom lip to keep herself from tearing up. Letting out a trembling sigh she tilted her head back to take a deep breath. Not knowing Chloe was behind her she flinched when Chloe spoke up.

"I will read it." Beca quickly wiped her eyes as she faced Chloe smiling weakly.

"Thank you." Chloe just nodded and then Beca received a message from James telling her he was waiting downstairs. "James is here, he'll take you home." Again Chloe nodded.

Beca had always hated it when Chloe answered without using words and Chloe was aware of that. They used to have little fights once in a while and then Chloe wouldn't speak to Beca till it drove her crazy. What she didn't know was that Beca loved hearing her voice so much and that it agitated her to know she herself was the reason she wouldn't hear her voice. And every time Beca would hear her voice again, after Chloe had forgiven her, she knew she would never get bored of it and could listen to her for ever.

Beca led Chloe back to the front door and opened it with reluctance. In her head she was telling herself to stop and just tell Chloe what was in the letter but she turned the door handle anyways. The cold metal burned against her skin as if it, too, was telling her to stop but she didn't. She held the door and watched Chloe move past her not even close enough to touch her. Chloe stepped outside but turned around to face Beca one more time. Not realizing how close she still was to Beca, their heads almost bumped into each other but neither of them moved away. Beca felt Chloe trembling breath brushing against her lips and fought the burning desire to capture her strawberry pink lips with her own.

"Read it and think about it okay? Of course I hope to hear from you again but I will understand if I don't," she mumbled not looking away from Chloe. Everything inside of her was telling her to just lean in and kiss her but still she stood there barely breathing.

"I will. Goodnight Beca" was all Chloe said before she turned back and walked to the elevator not waiting for a response.

"Goodnight Chloe" Beca whispered know Chloe wouldn't hear her. She watched Chloe press the button but quickly found herself closing the door to keep herself from running after the redhead. It must've looked like one of those horrible rom coms she used to watch with Chloe but unfortunately her life wasn't movie and this was probably the end of their story.

Out of frustration she smashed her fist against the door letting out a cry and a shout. Holding her hand against her chest she let herself slide down to the ground leaning against the door with her shoulder, tears running down her cheeks.

Chloe had heard it as she got into the elevator and felt her heart fall. With tears in her eyes and a lump in her throat making it hard to breath, she clutched onto the letter and she kept her eyes on Beca front door until the elevator doors closed taking away her last bit of strength to keep herself from falling apart. There she stood in an elevator leaving the house of the one she loved but hated at the same time, tears streaming down her face and a heavy letter in her hand.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys! Thanks for staying with me even though I am terrible at updating at the moment... I hope you guys enjoy the story and this chapter! Please let me know that you think :)**

Chapter 5

The way home had felt like a haze Chloe couldn't shake off. It is just her on the backseat of the car and James driving silently only glancing at her from time to time. Just before they reached her street she asked him to pull over. James did as he was asked and pulled over to the side of the road.

"Is there something wrong, miss?" He asked looking at Chloe through his rear view mirror. Chloe shook her head and felt tears prickling in the corners of her eyes because, honestly, she couldn't think of anything that was right.

"I'll walk from here, if that's okay," she said just above a whisper and let out a staggering sigh.

"But we're not there yet, miss-"

"I know, and I appreciate you taking me home but I'd like to walk." She rushed out before grabbed her purse and opened the door. "Thank you, James." He said nothing and just gave her a solid nod joined by a friendly smile. Chloe returned the smile and closed the door carefully. Watching James drive away she wrapped her arms around her body trying to keep warm.

Her feet felt heavy as she continued her way to her home dragging them along the pavement. She couldn't get rid of the image of those begging blue eyes that had asked her, no pleaded her for forgiveness. The envelope felt hard against her cold fingers, the rough corners felt like they could cut through her skin and the tears, that eventually started falling, left warm trails down her cheeks.

Once she got to her apartment she felt cold and her eyes burned from being tired. She searched for her keys and after a few attempts she opened the door locking it again after she had closed it. She took off her coat feeling a wave of tears rush up again. Her shoulder hitting the wall searching for support to keep her knees from giving in. Squeezing her eyes shut she tried to draw a deep breath. Once the rush of tears passed she shook her head and scoffed out loud. She was a mess, an emotionally drained, feeling like she'd been hit by a train, multiple times, mess.

Her hands shaking and her tensed muscles aching she sat down on the couch in the living room laying the envelope in front of her. Her head pounded from crying and her nose felt sore from wiping. Though she was exhausted and emotionally drained she didn't want to go to sleep yet. Her eyes felt heavy as she stared at the envelope laying in front of her, she didn't want to sleep but that didn't mean her body wasn't yearning for it. She wanted to read the letter but something was stopping her. Fear? Anger maybe? She had no idea what to expect from what was inside and she wasn't sure if she could read it and not let her emotions influence her reaction.

She was still mad, still hurt and didn't know if she was ready to forgive Beca just yet. But she had promised Beca she'd at least read it, and Chloe Beale never broke a promise. With a long sigh she got up and decided to take a shower first. She dragged herself to the bathroom and took off her clothes after she'd turned on the shower. She stepped underneath the running water and let the heat warm up her cold, tensed body. She felt her muscles relax and rested her head against the cool tiled wall. Just a letter, nothing more, she just had to read a letter. Knowing Beca it couldn't be that long so she'd be done with it quickly. Done with all of it, she secretly hoped.

After her shower she put on some sweatpants and her favorite oversized hoodie and got the letter from the living room before getting into bed.

"Alright, it's just a letter, just words," she said to herself and she let out a wavering breath but of course she knew it was so much more. It was a letter from Beca, an explanation as she'd called it. Carefully she opened the envelope with her name on it and neatly folded sheets of paper appeared. She felt her heart rate speed up and her chest felt like it could explode any second. Her hands trembling she held up the letter, not reading it yet, letting her fingers brush along the perfect looking letters. With a last staggered exhale she started to read, fulfilling her promise and allowing Beca to explain herself one last time, giving her a last chance.

 _Dear Chloe,_

 _I'm such a coward, but you probably already know that. I don't even have the balls to tell you all of this in person. Apparently I grew some balls and gave you this letter, which took me 30 attempts before I wrote this one by the way, I kept track of it... And I am sorry, Chloe, I am so sorry. I screwed up, that I did. But why? Why would I throw away a friendship with such an amazing, beautiful girl, you'd probably think? Well once I get the answer I'll let you know because I have no idea. Now you probably scoff and deny that you are amazing or beautiful, don't even try to convince you it didn't cross your mind. But you are, Chloe, you're amazing and beautiful and smart and funny and... I could go on forever but that's not the way I want to win you back. I want to try and get you back by telling the truth, and maybe that'll explain my ridiculous behavior._

 _Do you remember that night, the night after that campfire during Bella bootcamp week? Everyone went to get ready for bed_ _but you stayed, because I wanted to sit there just a little longer. You said you stayed to keep me safe from any creep trying to murder me or something (you watch too many movies you know that?) but I knew you just wanted to be alone with me because we hadn't had a moment together in a while and we both knew Aubrey covering the security shift that night would keep us both safe... We were so excited, enlightened about the fact that we found our team spirit back! You came and sat next to me resting your head on my shoulder. We sat like that for a while and when I felt you shivering next to me I lay my arm around you out of habit. We were always those kind of friends, the kind that looks and acts like a couple, we never disagreed on that and just laughed about it._

 _That night I kept thinking about that, I compared our relationship to other friendships and I knew that what we had was special. I think it was then when I finally realized it, sitting there staring into the fire holding you against me and enjoying your company even though we didn't even speak: I started to fall in love with you, Chloe. No wait, I was already in love with you but I had never thought about it like that before. But boy did I fall for you..._ hard _. That's right, I not only loved you, I was in love with you._

 _I know what you're thinking, but what about Jesse? Well, I loved, no I still love him, but he is more of a best friend than someone I want to spend the rest of my life with, it just took me a long time to finally see now you're probably asking why we're still together then? And there comes my reason for a lot of things I have screwed up in life so far: I got scared, I chickened out. I know right, badass, cold hearted Beca is scared of something?! (No I still haven't lost my sense of sarcasm, or as I call it: humor) But yes, it frightened the hell out of me, because I had never felt like that before, suddenly I started to feel nervous around you. I wanted you to like me like I liked you and I wanted to be good enough for you. But I wouldn't be Beca Mitchell if I didn't make a fool out of myself by doing the opposite of what people who are in love usually do, I pushed you away. I shut you out, I cut you off and you never deserved that._

 _So here I am, writing my 31st attempt to try and tell you that I am in love with you. I've written it down a few times now but I still feel anxious about saying it out loud. I might have the weirdest way of showing you I've fallen for you... Normal people would buy you flowers, get you a card or just ask you out, but me? No I decide to ban you from my life without even warning you or telling you why. I hope you believe me when I say that I regret it. I thought this would help, that my feelings would disappear but I never considered how badly it would hurt to not talk to you, to not see you but above all I thought I would hurt you less by leaving you than by telling you I love you, and I now see how wrong I was. You've left me voice mails crying, yelling, sounding defeated because you had no idea why this was happening. My heart ached for you every time I heard from you, it was like I could literally feel it break._

 _I know now that I made a terrible mistake, and I figured that out a while ago but I knew I couldn't just pick up the next time you called and pretend nothing happened. No I'd rather throw away what we had than take the risk and just tell you how I felt about you, stupid right? I was being stupid, stupid to think you'd hate me if I told you I loved you, stupid enough to think I'd get rid of these feelings I have for you, that's right, have. Your smile, your eyes, your voice, it's like magic the way the sound of your voice makes my heart rate speed up, makes my breath catch in my throat and makes me feel light headed so suddenly. You make me feel like one of those love struck teenage girls, and I wish I'd thought of a different way to handle things._

 _That night you told me you regretted not experimenting enough in college and I swear I thought my heart was going to burst through my ribs. I thought you'd noticed my realization about my feelings for you and I did what I always do: I shut it off, I just turned around. I always figured you weren't really into the label thing, you know, straight, gay, bi, you didn't care about that. But I do like my labels and when I found out I liked you like the boy likes the girl in those chick flick movies, I freaked out._

 _Some may call it fear of commitment, but I don't agree to that. I know of commitment, I mean I have multiple tattoos to prove that but tattoos can't leave me or hurt me like that. I was confused and couldn't control it and I hated that. I took me a while but I still haven't figured it out yet, one thing I do know: I don't care anymore about it. I know I love you, I am in love with you and I don't have a say in it._

 _So here I am, it's past midnight and I am trying to write down something I can't even find the right words for. Since you made it through the letter so far I want to say thank you and sorry for my confusing, random outburst. Thank you for reading this even though I haven't deserved it in any way. It is up to you know to decide what you do with it. Of course I don't expect you to feel the same way, I don't even expect you to talk to me after reading this but I hope it gave you some sort of explanation. This is the 31st letter I am writing to you and it will be the last attempt. I'm not even sure if you'll ever read it but who knows._

 _I am sorry, Chloe, for everything I've put you through._

 _Don't forget me,_

 _Beca_.

The date written underneath her name showed she had written it a month ago...


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Soft sobs filled up the silence that had fallen over Chloe's room. Tears ran down her cheek as she held the letter against her chest not even bothering to wipe them away anymore. Her chest felt tight, her heart unable to beat any faster. Her eyes stung and her temples throbbed but nothing took away the pain she felt that was buried deep down in her chest. She had sat like this for over an hour, maybe even longer but the weight of her sleep was no longer pulling at her, she was wide awake.

Beca's letter had brought back all the pushed away feelings she had managed to bottle up in the past couple of weeks . The knowledge of the brunette's feelings had given her an explanation but definitely not the one she had expected to find in the letter. She could practically feel the sincerity in Beca's words and she could sense how much it had troubled her to find out she was in love with her. Beca Mitchell, in love with her. She couldn't believe it, she had thought of every bad reason explaining why Beca had cut her off, thoughts including being too pushy, too annoying, not good enough, but never had this crossed her mind. Of course she had wished for it many, many times since she had fallen for Beca.

Chloe suddenly felt so much lighter, freed from the anger and pain built up inside, suddenly she felt a hint of guilt pulling at her. She had given Beca a hard time while the brunette had tried to show her how she had really felt, but then again she couldn't blame her self for it either. The way Beca had handled things was wrong but now she had finally tried to fix it in a right way. Chloe imagined how hard it must have been for her to write this all down, to put down in words how panicked she must've been finding out she was in love with someone else, her best friend to put it precisely.

"She has no idea..." Chloe whispered, her throat felt dry and she swallowed thickly. Beca had no idea Chloe felt the same way, she thought she was the only one with these feelings. Chloe remembered the night Beca had mentioned clearly, Beca's gentle arm around her and her other hand caressing Chloe's forearm absently as they watched the fire. Chloe had spent the night both enjoying and despising it because it had made her jealousy towards Jesse even worse. Sitting there with Beca had felt so right, so real.

Now that she thought of it, Beca had indeed started to pull away after that night. At first Chloe hadn't really paid attention to it but later she had figured it had been the start of Beca shutting her out. Chloe understood Beca's panic but she didn't get what had made her think that pulling away would fix it.

But Chloe forgave her, well she was willing to hear what Beca had to say without holding a grudge and more than anything she wanted the brunette into her life again. Chloe got up and wiped her eyes and she moved to the living room. Her legs felt sore from being in the same position for a long time and her back wasn't pleased either. But none of it bothered her because for the first time in a while it felt like she could finally breath again and her apartment suddenly didn't feel so heavy anymore now that the memories weren't so painful anymore. She got her purse and pulled out her phone before going back to her bedroom again.

She dialed Beca's number but let her thumb hover over the green call button. What was she gonna say? She couldn't just call her like that, right? Chloe nibbled on her bottom lip and sighed. She touched the screen and called Beca closing her eyes as she waited for her to pick up.

Beca woke up from her phone buzzing next to her. With a groan she rubbed her eyes and pressed her cold hand against her pounding forehead. She glanced at her alarm next to her phone and saw it was almost 4 am, she had only been a sleep for an hour. Her throat felt dry and tight and hurt as she swallowed thickly. Her cheeks still felt wet from the tears that apparently hadn't stopped falling as she had drifted off to sleep.

The night had drained her, not the way her shifts normally did, but flashes of Chloe's face had kept her up every time she closed her eyes. Those blue, exhausted looking eyes begging her to get out of this drama, they kept haunting Beca in her sleep.

James had called her to confirm that he had gotten Chloe home safe and he had mentioned the way Chloe had clutched onto her letter and the pained look on her face. Beca felt horrible for pulling Chloe back into everything like this, she couldn't stand herself for being so selfish. Chloe didn't deserve any of the trouble Beca had caused her by leaving her. Beca felt like she herself didn't even deserve Chloe's second chance to explain herself.

With a sigh she reached for her phone almost tumbling out of bed and lay back again placing it against her ear after picking up.

"Beca Mitchell music producer, how can I- never mind, who are you and why the hell are you calling me during this hour!" She grumbled struggling to get comfortable again. With a defeated huff she gave up and waited for the other person on the line to speak up. She heard a sniff and then a familiar voice spoke up, making her stomach twist into a knot.

"Hey Beca." It was Chloe. Her voice sounded hoarse and soft, Beca could hear the tears through her voice. Suddenly she felt wide awake and her throat closed up.

"Chloe, hey," was all she could get past her lips. She had given up the hope that she would hear from Chloe again. She had expected Chloe to be freaked out by her confession and thought she'd never wanted to see her again. The moment she had given Chloe that letter it had felt like she had definitely put an end to their friendship. But here she was, her voice on the other end of the line.

There was a short silence and Beca immediately thought she had imagined Chloe's voice. She checked her phone and let out a breath when it was indeed Chloe. Now she began to panic and questions started to fill her thoughts. Why was she calling? What if she wanted to talk about the letter? But this was what Beca had wanted, right? She wanted to get in touch with Chloe again and she wanted to apologize. But the idea of Chloe rejecting her of even making fun of her would be worse than not talking at all.

"I'm sorry if I woke you." Chloe's voice brought her back to reality in an instant. She felt bad for snapping at Chloe like that when she picked up. Chloe's gentle voice made Beca smile, she immediately regretted thinking Chloe would ever make fun of her.

"No, no that's alright. I just thought you were some annoying business persons who thinks this is an appropriate time to talk business." Beca caught herself rambling and immediately shut her mouth with a snap. She heard Chloe chuckle softly which gave her a funny feeling in her stomach. Chloe could tell she made Beca nervous and she couldn't help but smile at the way she always started to ramble when she didn't feel at ease. There was another silence, this one was thicker since they both knew why Chloe had called. So many words ran through Beca's mind but none of them, she thought, were suitable to say.

"I would never forget you, you know." Beca could hear the hurt in Chloe's voice. Of course she knew but before she could speak up, Chloe continued.

"I want you to know, I would never abandon you or make fun of you for feeling the way you feel. I wish you'd seen that then..." Beca's breath caught in her throat when she heard Chloe taking a trembling breath.

"You have no idea how much I've missed you Beca. And I can't help it but think it is my fault because I wasn't there for you, it shouldn't have been so hard for you to just talk to me and I blame myself for that. So I'm sorry for that Beca." By now Beca could tell she was near crying, she recognized the way her voice wavered and could almost hear how Chloe bit her bottom lip to stop the tears. Her heart fell knowing Chloe felt this way, know she blamed herself for the way Beca had shut her out. She finally found her voice back and felt near shouting.

"Please stop. You cannot blame yourself for this because it is in no way your fault. You had nothing to do with my stupid decision to shut you out, you didn't deserve any of this. Please don't blame yourself. Stop being the stubborn, selfless redhead I fell for, for just a minute and agree with me. You are not responsible for my ridiculous behavior."

"Okay," Chloe said softly and Beca wished she could listen to that voice forever.

"I am sorry, Chloe," Beca whispered.

"I know, Beca. I forgive you." If your heart could explode, Beca was sure her heart had blown up, multiple times. Those three words took away a part of a burden she had carried these past few months, they lifted a weight from her shoulder and gave her permission to breathe without her heart aching from regret. She let out a breath that felt like she had been holding for too long and tilted her head back. She had woken up this morning thinking about Chloe but she had ever thought she'd actually see her or even talk to her. But here she was, it was 4 in the morning and she had just heard the best three words she could imagine hearing then, the best three so far. Because while Beca was trying to take in what Chloe'd just told, Chloe changed those three words into three other words that would for always be her favorite words .

"I love you, Beca. I love you and I am in love with you."

Chloe had just blurted it out like that. She couldn't keep it to herself anymore and not tell Beca. She could practically hear Beca thoughts running through her mind as a heavy silence fell between the two of them. Chloe started to feel anxious when Beca didn't say anything and nervously fiddled with the hem of her hoodie. Suddenly she heard a click which indicated that Beca had hung up.

Chloe's eyes widened and her heart fell. She had made a mistake by telling Beca this way, she shouldn't have done it. Tears started to fall again and heart ached. She pulled up her knees wrapping her arms around them and buried her face in her knees. For a second she had thought she had finally gotten her best friend back but with three words she had lost her again. She had scared Beca off, maybe Beca didn't even want Chloe to love her back like that maybe she'd just wanted to get rid of her feelings... Chloe felt like she was falling apart again and someone had ripped her heart out. Trying to close the hole that burned in her chest she gripped onto her legs tightly feeling like she'd never be whole again.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Chloe sat in the same curled up position for a good half hour when suddenly her doorbell rang. She flinched at the sudden noise and lifted her head. Her neck felt sore and her legs hurt from the uncomfortable position. Again the sound of the doorbell echoed through her apartment and with reluctance Chloe got out of bed.

She moved to the door wiping her nose as she passed the big mirror in her hallway. With a trembling sigh she faced her reflection in the mirror, a pair of exhausted eyes staring back at her. Her hair was messed up and her cheeks were covered in mascara. Her eyes were red shot and her nose didn't look any paler either, she looked like a mess. Pulling a hair band from her wrist she put her hair up in a bun as the bell rang again. Tearing her eyes off the mirror she walked away to open the door. The moment she saw who was standing in front of it, her heart skipped a beat and her throat tightened till it was hard to draw a breath.

"Beca," Chloe said just above a whisper, her eyes wide and her hands shaking as she tripped onto the door knob trying to steady herself. Beca could tell she had been crying and she felt her chest tighten with guilt. Chloe didn't move as she stared at Beca. The brunette was panting slightly from running up the stairs since the elevator took too long, her eyes filled with tears and her hair was pulled back in a high ponytail. She was wearing a pair of sweatpants and a wide t shirt that was too big for her small frame, but Chloe still thought she looked beautiful. The brunette looked rushed and panicked as she spoke up, her voice sounding small and shaky.

"I-I didn't know what to say... And- and then my phone died... I'm sorry... I-I didn't know what to do so I just drove here. I mean, I still had your address so I thought... Yeah..." She trailed off when she realized she was rambling. Chloe still looked in shock but quickly recovered when Beca spoke up confirming that she wasn't in fact hallucinating or dreaming. Her throat felt like sandpaper once she opened her mouth to speak and the words sounds soft and hoarse.

"You drove here?" Beca nodded and felt heat rise up to her cheeks. She gave Chloe a sheepish smile and shrugged.

"I guess I did... I didn't want you to think I'd given up on you, after what you told me..." Beca averted her gaze from Chloe's, too afraid that she had imagined the whole thing.

"You could've just charged your phone, you know. Would've been easier," Chloe chuckled lightly and Beca's heart sped up just at the sound.

Just after Chloe had told Beca she was in love with her, her phone had died and Beca had thrown it across the room in frustration which had caused it to crash into a wall. The screen had cracked and she had known for sure that it wasn't going to work anytime soon.

"I panicked, I'm sorry-"

"Don't apologize, it would've been easier but that doesn't mean I don't prefer this solution." When Beca looked up Chloe smiled at her. For a moment they just stood there, looking at each other without speaking. Their eyes met and they both smiled, no more tears, no more pain. Without hesitation Beca took a step forward without breaking their eye contact. Chloe felt Beca's warm breath on her skin and her eyes were locked onto Beca's.

"I love you, too, Chloe," she whispered. The words echoed through Chloe's ears as she could read the sincerity in her deep blue eyes. She could see the tension dissolve and the heavy weight leave her small shoulders. Without another word Chloe pulled Beca into her arms and the brunette melted into the embrace burying her head in the dip of Chloe's neck. With Beca's arms around around her waist and her nose nuzzling against her skin Chloe felt her broken heart mend again. It pounded against her ribs, excited and filled with joy. She felt warm tears on her cheeks but knew that this time they weren't caused by pain or guilt. A missing part of her was back and Beca's soft breath warmed her skin.

Beca smelled the familiar scent of Chloe's favorite shampoo, she felt her strong, yet gentle arms around her neck and for the first time in the past few months she knew everything was going to be alright. They stood in the doorway holding each other, neither of them wanting to let go. Gripping onto each other wishing they could be closer than they already were while they knew they couldn't get any closer . Then Chloe pulled back a little to meet Beca's eyes her hands cupping the brunette's cheeks caressing her skin gently with her thumb.

"I'm so-" Beca tried but Chloe cut her off.

"Don't be," Chloe her shook her head. "No more apologies, no more hidden feelings, okay?" Beca's throat felt dry and all she could do was nod. She swallowed thickly mesmerized by Chloe's bright blue eyes locked onto hers.

"Can I kiss you?" She asked eventually breaking the silence, her voice sounded hoarse and there was a nervous vibration in her tone. Chloe's heart melted at the question and butterflies filled her stomach. She broke into a huge smile and chuckled lightly. It was a typical Beca move to ask permission to kiss her during a moment like this.

Chloe didn't speak and just nodded. Beca let out a nervous breath and felt the corners of her lips tug upwards. Chloe's hands cupped the back of Beca's neck as she leaned in to capture the petite's woman's lips with her own. Beca placed her hands on either side of Chloe's waist and lifted her heels off the ground when their lips met. Chloe felt Beca's trembling hands carefully pulling her closer and smiled deepening the kiss and leaning more towards the brunette.

Chloe's lips tasted like cherries and Beca's legs felt like they could give in any moment. The kiss was nothing like any kiss she'd had before, not like any of the ones she'd shared with Jesse. This kiss made her heartbeat speed up, made her feel light headed and her knees weak. It sent shivers down her spine and it made her long for more. This was what she had wanted to do since that night after the bonfire.

When they pulled back, both slightly out of breath, all Beca could do was smile and feel the unfamiliar sensation of longing for more. She wrapped one hand around Chloe's wrist that was still on the back of her neck squeezing it gently as her smile widened.

"Wow," was all Chloe could say. There weren't enough words to describe how she felt after that kiss. It was all she had expected and so much more.

"Wow indeed," Beca grinned squeezing Chloe's wrist briefly. Beca kissed the inside of Chloe's wrist and nuzzled her nose against it.

"I can't believe you drove here just because your phone died," Chloe giggled running her thumb over Beca's jaw gently.

"Me neither," Beca chuckled with a goofy smile, "I'm glad I did it tho."

"Me, too," Chloe whispered before leaning in to kiss Beca again. They were interrupted by Chloe's neighbor from across the hall opening his door not aware of the two standing in Chloe's doorway. Beca pulled back quickly as the man closed his door again his back to them.

"Another late night shift, Mr Pennings?" The man flinched and then faced them, a startled look on his face. He obviously hadn't expected to find two girls standing in the hallway at 5 in de morning. His eyes darted between the two of them before he cleared his throat and shook his head, clearly confused and still half asleep.

"Uh yes, they called me in half an hour ago," he frowned rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hand. "Well I should go now, goodbye Chloe... and friend of Chloe," he shook his head again then gave them a short wave before walking away. They waited till he was out of sight and started laughing as soon as he had left the building.

"Would you like to come inside, before we scare any of my other neighbors?" Beca couldn't speak and just nodded. Chloe pulled her inside taking the brunette's hand into her own intertwining their fingers and guided her through the apartment to her bedroom. Still giggling and laughing they collapsed onto the bed. Beca lay on her back and Chloe on her side facing Beca as they retrieved their breath.

"I don't think I've laughed this hard in a long time," Beca said once she got rid of the giggles. Chloe nodded in agreement running her fingertips up and down Beca's arm. Beca felt her skin heating up everywhere Chloe's fingertips touched her and left a trace of goosebumps. "It's because you are in my life again," she stated softly making Chloe look up at her, "you make me happy. You always have and I'll always be the happiest when I'm with you, no matter what." Chloe felt tears slipping from the corners of her eyes but Beca quickly wiped them away before they could fall. "No more crying, we're going to be okay, we can fix this. I promise you, I will never leave again. Not even during movie nights." Chloe smiled briefly leaning into Beca's hand that still cupped her cheek and kissed the palm of her hand.

"I love you," Chloe whispered and she looked into Beca's eyes. Before the brunette could respond Chloe kissed her again confirming her words . Beca placed her hands on Chloe's waist deepening the kiss and pulled her on top of her. Now the redhead was hovering over her resting her hands on either side of Beca's face and her knees on each side of her hips. Chloe trailed kissed down Beca's jaw to her neck and collarbone. Beca tilted her head back to give Chloe more access to her neck and couldn't help it but let a whimper pass her lips. Chloe grinned and knew she had a new favorite sound next to Beca's laugh. She sucked and bit the brunette's skin teasingly leaving red marks and small bruises.

Beca tugged at the hem of her hoodie before lifting it over her hand and throwing it across the room. Flipping them over she pushed Chloe down on the bed by holding her wrist above her head and pressing them down. Beca had never been this dominant, this passionate in previous relationships but with Chloe it felt so much different. Kissing Chloe made her long for more, the thought of making love to her was enough to drive her crazy. Chloe's touch made her skin feel like it was on fire and her lips pressed against her neck sent bolts of lightning through her veins. Beca leaned back to take of her own shirt and then untied the strings of Chloe's sweatpants and helped her take them off. After that she quickly kicked off her own pants. Chloe sat up again so Beca ended up in her lap, Chloe's hands on her lower back.

Everywhere that Beca's bare skin touched her own it felt like fire pressed up against ice. Beca's skin felt cold, like it always did, and Chloe's skin was practically burning leaving goosebumps all over her body. Beca rested her forehead against Chloe's and felt the redhead's warm breath on her skin. Beca's hands were trembling as she brushed a strand of Chloe's messy hair out of her face and Chloe could tell she was asking a lot from Beca. She knew the petite brunette was tired and emotionally drained and it felt wrong to take advantage of her fragile state like this.

"We can take this slow, there's not need to rush into it," she said softly taking Beca's hand into her own and bringing it up to her lips to kiss it. Beca said nothing and just looked into Chloe's eyes, mesmerizing by their beauty and touched by Chloe's kindness. There was no one who she'd rather be with but the anxiety of failing Chloe made her nervous.

"We could just cuddle? Is that alright with you?" Chloe asked smiling warmly pecking Beca's hand multiple times. Beca nodded and let Chloe pull her onto the bed and underneath the covers. They lay facing each other, their legs intertwined and their arms wrapped around each other. Beca's cheeks were red and she avoided Chloe's gaze.

"I can wait, whenever you're ready, I just want you to be comfortable." Beca nodded and scooted closer to Chloe burying her head underneath Chloe chin. Chloe ran her fingers through Beca's hair soothingly and rested her chin on Beca's head carefully.

"I love you," Beca whispered, "so much I sometimes don't even know if I'll ever figure it out." She kissed Chloe's neck gently.

"I know, but I'm here now to help you because I love you, too."

They spent hours caressing each other's skin gently, getting to know every unknown part of the other's body. Stealing kisses and just looking at each other taking in ever little perfect imperfections of their faces. Neither of them felt the need to sleep, they had never felt more alive.

You could feel their love for each other grow and later that night Beca was ready.

A/N thanks again for the support and I hoped you guys liked it! Let me know what you thought of the chapter, pretty please. The chapter is a little longer than expected...


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

With her eyes still closed Beca rolled over planning on wrapping her arms around the person next to her but all she was met with were empty sheets. Frowning she opened her eyes and rubbed her face. It didn't surprise her that Chloe wasn't in bed anymore, Chloe was more of a morning person. Pulling Chloe's pillow closer she inhaled the scent of her strawberry shampoo and her favorite perfume. The scents brought her back to the night before and a smile tugged at her lips.

Last night had been... Very interesting. She had never expected her night to end like that, especially not waking up in Chloe's bed. She felt so much lighter now that she had told Chloe everything and there was nothing that could ruin the happiness she felt in her heart. Just one night with Chloe had been enough to fix her damaged heart and to clear her foggy mind. The night spent with Chloe hadn't been anything like she'd experienced before, it was so new, yet it felt so familiar, so right and boy did it feel good.

Beca smiled into her pillow recalling the night. Squinting she read the alarm clock on Chloe's nightstand and saw it was already past 11 am. Letting out a satisfied sigh she smiled and sat up not bothering to cover herself as she stretched out her arms. She got up and spotted a pile of clothes laying at the foot of the bed. She put on the clothes and took a look at herself in the mirror that stood in the room.

The outfit included a tanktop and some baggy sweatpants that looked even baggier on her since Beca was a bit smaller than Chloe. Once she looked more up close she noticed bags under her eyes and it soothed her that this time they weren't from crying herself to sleep or insomnia after all those nightmares of losing Chloe again. After what had felt for an eternity of sleepless nights she felt well rested again and the world didn't seem like the dark place it had been before.

"Well this is going to be interesting at work..." She muttered with a grin as her fingers brushed over the trail of hickeys down her neck and collarbone. "No turtleneck is going to beat that." She let out a light chuckle and shook her head.

She could hear music coming from the other side of the door. She hastily ran her fingers through the tangles in her hair and took another quick glance in the mirror before leaving the room to meet Chloe. She had never felt nervous about facing the redhead in the morning after one of their many sleepovers but now it felt different.

She opened the bedroom door and was met with the smell of pancakes and Taylor Swift's 'Shake it off' playing on the radio. Beca spotted Chloe standing in the kitchen behind the stove. She was wearing her hair up in a messy bun on the top of her head and an oversized hoodie with boxer briefs underneath it. Beca smiled as she watched Chloe dance around the kitchen. Her hips swinging to the music and her head bobbing to the beat of the song while moving around with a pan in her hands. The song ended and Chloe obviously hadn't noticed Beca standing in the room yet as she jumped excitedly when the next song came on, 'Your lips are moving' by Meghan Trainor. Chloe sang along as she flipped over the pancakes. Using a spoon as a microphone she sang, "I know you're lying cause your lips are moving." Swirling around she spotted Beca standing in the room and stopped spinning, a toothy grin on her face. Chloe tried to hold back the smile tugging at her lips which caused her to pout her lips and have a twinkle in her eyes, Beca's favorite kind of smile because she knew Chloe was at her happiest when she smiled like that, and continued preparing their breakfast while Beca watched her.

"I see you haven't lost your morning habits yet?" Beca sniggered as she moved over to Chloe. Chloe used to make them pancakes in the morning all the time, she'd get up early and turn on some music, eventually it got so loud she woke up Beca.

"I see you're still not up early?" Chloe retorted playfully glaring at Beca.

Beca hummed and mumbled, "guilty." She wrapped her arms around Chloe's waist hugging her from behind. Chloe leaned into the embrace gratefully placing her free hand on Beca's intertwining their fingers. Chloe stomach fluttered as she felt Beca's tender arms wrapped around her, reminding her of how much she loved the brunette. Being with her this way felt so natural, it felt like coming home.

"How'd you sleep?" Chloe asked as she turned off the stove to face Beca turning around in her arms.

"Well from what time there was left to sleep... It was alright," Beca grinned brushing her nose against Chloe's. "Kind of lonely tho, waking up without you by my side." She pouted pulling Chloe closer, closing the gap between their bodies.

The touch of the redhead's body against her own still didn't fail to amaze her and to take her breath away. Chloe's eyes on her were enough to give Beca an explosion of butterflies in her stomach. "Oh and thanks for this by the way, my day at work just got a lot more interesting..." Beca pointed at the hickey on her neck trying to give Chloe a stern look but she failed when Chloe actually had a proud, playful smirk on her face. Chloe placed one hand on Beca's neck running her thumb over the bruise.

"Yeah, I think I might've gotten a little too enthusiastic there, but don't you act like miss innocent." Chloe pulled down the collar of her hoodie showing Beca the similar red marks on her neck. Beca's eyes widened and heat rose up her cheeks. Carefully her touched Chloe's neck before meeting her eyes again. Chloe laughed at the shocked, surprised look on her face and kissed her nose.

"It's no big deal, I can totally rock a high collared shirt and I'll wear them with pride," she chuckled shooting Beca a wink.

"I had no idea..." Beca stammered.

"It's fine, you should see the scratches on my back..." Chloe teased. Beca's eyes grew even wider and Chloe thought they'd pop out of her head if she'd continue playing with Beca like that. Cjloe laughed and cupped Beca's cheek kissing her soothingly. Beca let out a shaky chuckle and her cheeks turned even brighter. "At least I know you enjoyed yourself," she added with a mischievous grin. She decided to drop the subject before she'd cause Beca to have a mental breakdown and nudged her head towards the stove.

"Hungry?" Beca's stomach growled in response making both of them laugh.

"I guess I am," Beca chuckled. Beca looked at Chloe and smiled bringing her hand up to tug a loose strand of red hair behind her ear. Chloe returned the smile and gave her a quick peck on the lips before pulling away to turn down the radio.

She was about to turn it down but paused when the next song came up. Gasping she turned around a wide smile on her face. 'Flashlight' covered by Jessie J came up which had practically made Beca famous for producing it. Beca smirked and shook her head amused by the redhead's enthusiasm. She had gotten Jessie J to cover the song a few weeks after they'd graduated. Working with the singer had been amazing but things had already been rough between Chloe and her so Beca had had a hard time enjoying it as much as she should have.

"I bought it on iTunes the second it got out! It was amazing and I was so proud of you," Chloe beamed. Her smile fell when she saw the pained look on Beca's face. Frowning she walked over tho the brunette who leaned against the counter.

"What's wrong?" She asked concerned taking Beca's hand into her own making her look up from her feet.

The chapter got a little longer than expected so I divided into two chapters, next one will be up soon! Thanks for reading and enjoy!


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

"What's wrong?" Chloe asked again when Beca remained silent looking at her lap.

"You have no idea how badly I wanted to hear your opinion on the song back then..." Beca mumbled avoiding Chloe's gaze. Chloe sighed knowing exactly what Beca meant. She remembered Beca not talking to her back then and how she'd wanted to talk to her about the song but Beca wouldn't answer her calls. She knew now it was because Beca was keeping her distance from her and it hurt to see the petit brunette still pained by it.

"Hey," Chloe spoke softly lifting Beca's chin up with her index finger so she'd look at her again, "that's in the past. And I love it! I love Jessie J and I love Emily's song and the way you made it into this amazing work!" She kissed Beca's forehead trying to kiss away her frown and felt Beca's hands rest on waist. Beca smiled leaning into the kiss squeezing Chloe's sides gently.

"And I love you," she added her eyes meeting Beca's again. Beca's frown turned into a wide smile and she ran her thumbs over Chloe's waist.

"Dance with me?" Beca asked surprising Chloe. She pushed herself off the counter wrapping one arm around Chloe's waist and the other held up their intertwined hands. Chloe couldn't help but laugh as she watched the cheeky smirk on Beca's face as she swirled Chloe around. A sudden rush of happiness gave her butterflies fluttering in her stomach and her heart dwelt with the love she felt for the dork dancing with her in her kitchen. Chloe had never expected this kind of happiness with the girl she fell for so long ago and it all just felt like a dream too good to be true.

They swayed through kitchen and Chloe giggled as Beca twirled them around holding her tight. Chloe let go of Beca's hand to lay her arms around the brunette's neck and Beca placed her hand on her waist. Resting her forehead against Beca's she pecked her nose.

"I didn't know Beca Mitchell could be this romantic?" She sniggered as Beca twitched her nose at the action making her look even more adorable.

"Yeah I have my moments," Beca grinned. The song ended and Beca's stomach growled again. Chloe chuckled and pulled away. She linked her fingers with Beca's and carried the plate with pancakes to the small dinner table next to the kitchen tugging the brunette along with her. They sat down and Beca took a bite moaning approvingly. They finished their breakfast in a comfortable silence and Beca helped Chloe with the dishes since she insisted on helping.

"Hey do you mind if I borrow your laptop real quick? I need to check my email, business stuff," she made a 'yikes' face at the word business. Chloe chuckled and nodded kissing Beca before moving away from the kitchen.

"Sure, I'll get it for you and then I'm gonna get a quick shower."

"Alright. So maybe we can go out for some lunch later? Maybe Aubrey and the others want to come, too? I think I've got some explaining to do," Beca suggested as she followed Chloe to her small but cozy living room. Chloe hummed in approval as she handed Beca her laptop.

"I'd like that very much, now go do your business stuff and I'll be right back." Chloe kissed Beca's check before leaving to give her some time to do her work and get a shower. Beca sat down on the sofa her legs crossed and the laptop on her lap. As she turned on the laptop she looked around. She hadn't even had time to look around Chloe's apartment last night... Her heart swelled at the thought of the night and it felt like the smile on her face would never fade.

The apartment was crammed with decorations compared to Beca's cold and empty apartment. Beca hated being in her apartment, it was too big, too empty, too lonely. It didn't feel like a home and it seemed like the quietness made her miss Chloe even more.

Chloe's apartment didn't feel lonely, it felt like a home. On every wall, every shelf and every table she could see photo frames or little souvenirs. There was a bookcase filled with books, most of them sticking out and nearly all of them looked like that'd been read multiple times, some of them still held a bookmark. There were stacks of magazines and, what Beca assumed, homework assignments. On the side table next to the couch she spotted a photo frame holding their graduation photo.

Beca chuckled, she had dreaded the ceremony but somehow Chloe had succeeded to pull her through it. Who would've thought that? Beca Effin' Mitchell actually finishing college but still living her dream and secretly feeling glad she'd gone to college. She logged in onto her email account and her eyes widened by the amount of emails she'd received from her manager.

"Damn Rob, watch your stress level there..." She muttered to herself as she scrolled through her list of unopened emails. Most of them contained requests to call Rob as soon as possible. Beca suddenly remembered leaving her phone at home after it had shut down during their phone call and sighed. The last email Rob had sent her seemed to be something other then: Call me! God dammit Beca, pick up your phone! Beca, call me back!

Beca click on it and saw it was a link to a website. She opened the link and frowned when she saw it was an article about her. The headline reading: Beca Mitchell has been spotted with a unknown woman and is later confirmed to visit the mystery woman at her apartment. Beca was reading through the article when she heard Chloe come back into the room again. Chloe sneaked up on Beca from behind and wrapped her arms around her neck placing multiple pecks on her cheek. Beca gave her an absent smile only averting her eyes from the screen briefly.

"What's that?" Chloe asked and she furrowed her brows when she saw a blurry picture of Beca getting out of her car. The photo had been taken in front of her apartment... "Beca?" Chloe asked again when Beca didn't respond. Shaking her out of her thoughts Beca looked at her, an unreadable look on her face.

"Some paparazzi guy saw me leave with you from the club and decided to follow me to your apartment after I'd come here. Here," she said pointed at the screen, "an anonymous source confirmed that Beca Mitchell visited the mystery woman and the both of them looked caught when he left his apartment." Beca air quoted the word 'anonymous' and rolled her eyes as if they didn't know it was the neighbor from across the hall.

She let out a frustrated groan, she hated the paparazzi with a burning passion. For some unknown reason she was interesting enough to stalk her anywhere she went and to find out who she was seeing. She had even seen a picture of herself in sweatpants doing grocery shopping in some tabloid and the headline wondering if she was depressed after her break up with Jesse. The thought of the press harassing people she loved was enough to infuriate her. She was afraid Chloe might be scared off by all of it.

"Long time gal pals or one night stand?" Chloe read out loud with a snort. "I can't believe you have to deal with this every day, they're so rude!" Chloe climbed onto the back of the couch and let herself slide into the spot next to Beca. Looping her arm through Beca's she rested her head on her shoulder snuggling up to her.

"You're not mad at me?" Beca asked, her voice sounded small and nervous.

"What? No of course not! You had nothing to do with this, just some stupid journalists and my sleepy neighbor who probably didn't even think about the impact of his words." Beca still didn't looked calmed by Chloe's words. Chloe smiled briefly placing her hand on Beca's cheek soothingly running her thumb over her jawline. "Hey, it's okay, no big deal. I'm sure I can handle some stupid paparazzi, it won't be a reason for me to leave you. And after all, they called me a beautiful, mysterious redhead! Which are all facts!" She nudged Beca playfully. Beca let out a relieved breath and broke into a smile again.

"I'm not gonna let some random article scare me away, Beca. Don't worry," she murmured taking Beca's had into her own and squeezing it reassuringly.

"Thank you," Beca whispered before capturing Chloe's lips with her own. When they both pulled back again Beca continued.

"Thank you for forgiving me, thank you for everything. Last night was amazing, you are amazing." Chloe's cheeks flushed as the compliment and she buried her face in the dip of Beca's neck placing feather light kisses on her skin as the brunette spoke. Chloe rested her head on Beca's shoulder and she could feel her steady, slightly sped up heartbeat.

"I don't know what I did to deserve this, any of this. I never knew how lucky I was to have you in my life until I lost you and I will do everything to keep you in it as long as possible now that I have you back. You make me happy and I want to make you the happiest in the world. I wish I could show you how grateful I am for you, but I don't know how. If there is anything you wish to have, I'll get it for you. If you have a dream I will do everything to make it come true. If you are troubled, I'll try everything in my power to fix it." Chloe was touched by Beca's promises. The sincerity in her words were enough to make her tear up and Chloe knew Beca had meant every single one of them. Looking up Beca took Chloe's face between her hands gently and wiped away her tears with her thumb carefully.

"I love you, Chloe. And I'll do anything to make your dreams come true." She whispered sealing her promise with a kiss. It took Chloe a moment to get herself together again and find her voice. Swallowing thickly her heart raced against her ribs and her chest felt tight.

"Don't thank me, there is no need for that," she said just above a whisper her voice sounded shaky and a lump in her throat made it had to speak up. Beca waited patiently as Chloe cleared her throat and gently caressed the back of the redhead's neck with her fingertips. "

You know how much you mean to me and you have no idea how long I have longed for this, for us. Now I know it has been worth the wait and I'd be stupid to leave you after all we've been through. You're the love of my life, but you are so much more, you are my best friend, my soulmate. You complete me and sometimes it scares me how easily it would be for you to break me, but I know you will never have the intention to hurt me or whatsoever. I love you, too, Beca and I will do everything to remain part of your happiness. I have no more wishes, no more desires, because you have already turned my dreams into reality."

-the end-

So there it is, the end of the story. There will be a short epilogue and a little extra so don't give up on me yet ;)


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 9

The epilogue

*four months later*

"Chloe, darling look this way."

"Chloe! You look beautiful tonight, what are you wearing?"

"Ms. Beale!"

Chloe's cheeks hurt from smiling and her feet were already aching from the killer heels she was wearing. It was her third red carpet event since she had gotten together with Beca.

The two of them had taken it easy the first few months but never hid their relationship from the press. The first time Beca had taken her to a red carpet event Chloe had been overwhelmed by the cameras and the reporters yelling at her but Beca had stayed by her side all night. Chloe had been interesting to the press since it was their first award show together and the reporter's first opportunity to interview her properly. Multiple reporters usually tried to ask her questions when they spotted the couple together but Beca never really answered any of them. They mostly found paparazzi photos of those moments in the tabloids the day after.

Now it was Chloe's third time facing the flashlights, the celebrities and all the interviews. She posed a few times before heading over to the interviewers that stood lined up next to the carpet. She smiled kindly at them and tried to answer every question. Most of the questions were questions about the event or her outfit. Her outfit included a light blue dress that matched her eyes and had a cut up to her right thigh. The way Beca had looked at her when she had showed her her outfit was enough to confirm that she had picked the right dress.

"So Chloe, how are you and Beca doing?" A male reporter with a notebook and pen in his hand asked.

"Well, I read in some magazine today that we were having some troubles in paradise, so I hope we'll be okay!" Chloe said lightly with a chuckle. The reporters that surrounded her laughed and wrote down her answer.

For some reason the tabloids always enjoyed making up stories about their relationship, one moment they were engaged and the next they were breaking up again. Beca and Chloe had made it a morning ritual to read the articles to each other during breakfast. They just laughed about it because none of those stories were even close to the truth.

They all made their own assumptions but none of them ever really wrote about how in love they were, how after all they'd been through they'd never been closer. They didn't know about the lazy Sunday mornings in bed that Chloe loved, the love notes Beca left her on the fridge when she had to get up early. They could only guess at the amount of kisses Beca placed on her bare shoulder when Chloe was making her breakfast, or the number of 'I love you's they shared each morning and each night. They didn't know how Beca had saved Chloe from being miserable or the way Chloe could always brighten her day with nothing but a smile.

Those tabloids weren't even close to describing how happy they were together. Every morning that Chloe woke up next to Beca she felt the urge to pinch herself to make sure she wasn't dreaming because being with the brunette felt like a dream. Beca never failed to surprise her, not just with gifts but also with the love she gave Chloe. One day Beca had brought home the entire Taco Bell menu because Chloe had had a bad day at work, and another day she'd bring the redhead her favorite desert from her favorite restaurant because she got home late.

Of course Chloe loved the gifts but they would never be the reason why she loved the petite brunette so much. It were the little moments, the glimpses of Beca's beautiful and kind heart. Like the way she'd try and get up before Chloe to make her breakfast in bed but Chloe would find her a sleep on the couch an hour later. Or the made up songs that Beca would sing to her in the shower. Those were the things that made Chloe's heart beat faster for the brunette.

So Chloe couldn't help but laugh at all the gossip because they had no idea.

" Chloe, I read you and Beca met through an a Capella group, is that right?" Another reporter asked, shaking her out of her thoughts. Chloe smiled and nodded.

Some magazine had interviewed them a while ago and had apparently found out about the Bella's. Beca and Chloe had tried to just brush it off like it was nothing big to leave the Bellas out of the whole paparazzi circus.

"So do you have any plans on starting a singer's career any time soon? I looked you up, your voice is amazing!"

"Thank you," Chloe blushed, "but no, singing is a passion but not a career option for me."

Chloe had to hold back a squeak when she suddenly felt an arm around her waist. Beca had sneaked up on her during the interview but got tired of waiting so she decided to join her. Chloe beamed at her girlfriend and the brunette gave her a quick peck on the cheeks. Some reporters 'aww'ed and they were surrounded by flashes. Beca grinned and shot Chloe a wink before she answered some questions, her arm not leaving the redhead's waist.

Chloe watched as Beca patiently listened and responded to the questions. Beca was wearing a black suit, that suited her quite well, Chloe thought, and her long brown hair fell in loose curls down her shoulders and back. Chloe was mesmerized by her natural beauty and never got bored of looking at her.

"So any wedding plans for our new favorite couple?"

Beca laughed and pulled Chloe closer, "I don't know, what do you say, Chlo? Wanna get married?"

Chloe smiled and shrugged, "hm I don't know, who knows who I'll meet tonight? Beyoncé could be here..." She stuck out her tongue teasingly and laughed when Beca raised her eyebrows in mock offense.

"Well, gentlemen, as you can hear I have to get my girlfriend away from here right now before she meets someone else," she grinned. She thanked them and they moved away from the red carpet. Beca's hand was on Chloe's lower back as they walked through the crowd to find their seats. As they were about to walk through the doors Beca pulled Chloe aside. She took her to a less crowded corner and cupped the redhead's cheek to pull her into a kiss. When they pulled back Chloe grinned.

"What was that for?"

"I've been wanting to do that the whole night," Beca smirked pecking her lips again. "Just seeing you posing for those photographers..." Beca made a mocking pained face as she eyed Chloe one more time.

Chloe chuckled and shook her head. Her hand rested on Beca shoulder as her finger fiddled with a strand of her brown hair. She had felt Beca's eyes on her during the interviews and it still didn't fail to make her stomach flutter.

"I'm glad you like it. I hope Beyoncé likes it, too," she teased. Beca narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips.

"She better not try and steal my woman, 'cause she's all mine." They both broke into a laugh and Beca stepped closer to Chloe again capturing her lips with her own. The kiss was longer and more passionate than the first one and Chloe'd swear she could sense some jealous in the way Beca held her close.

"I'm all yours, now let's watch this show and go home and cuddle." Beca nodded in agreement and leaned in to Chloe's kiss on her cheek.

After the award show and actually meeting Beyoncé, Beca and Chloe sat in the back of James' car on their way home their fingers intertwined loosely. Chloe's giggles filled the car as Beca placed feather light kisses on her neck and murmured against her skin.

"I can't believe we actually met Beyoncé," Chloe laughed trying to push Beca off her but the brunette only held her tighter nuzzling her nose against her neck and humming in agreement. Beca let go of Chloe but still held her hand caressing the back of it with her fingertips.

"Yeah, she's amazing. I wouldn't blame you if you'd leave me for her," she teased.

"I'd totally date her, but I already have a hot girlfriend waiting for me at home everyday so it'd be a shame to ruin that," Chloe grinned playfully looping her arm through Beca's and resting her head on her shoulder.

"Your girlfriend sounds great tell me more about her?"

"Oh you know, great body, amazing personality and a total beast in the sheets." Chloe looked up at Beca with a playful glint in her eyes. She could see the brunette's cheeks turn red as she tried to mask it by kissing Chloe's forehead.

They sat in a comfortable silence as they watched the streets of LA pass by. Chloe ran her fingers over Beca's forearm tracing patterns on her pale skin. Her eyes fell on the silver bracelet Beca wore, a simple bangle bracelet with her initials on it, Chloe had given it to her a few weeks ago. Beca never wore a lot of jewelry, except for her ear piercings and now the bracelet.

"I never gave you something in return," Beca said softly referring to the bracelet.

"I don't expect you to, it's nothing special."

"To me it is, that's why I never take it off unless I really have to. You don't expect me to but I did it anyways," Beca paused and addressed her next words to James. "Could you play it, please?" She leaned forward as she watched James put on the cd she'd given him earlier that night. When she sat back again she smiled at the confused frown on Chloe's face. She looked down when the song started playing and the all too familiar tune of the Cup Song came on. Chloe gasped excitedly listening carefully.

"I got my ticket for the long way 'round," Beca's beautiful voice sounded through the speakers and Chloe's stomach leaped with joy. It was just the brunette's voice and her guitar playing in the background.

When Beca looked up again she saw Chloe's eyes slightly tear filled but a huge smile on her face. She could tell Chloe was trying to take in every tone, every word of the song because she didn't notice the way Beca was looking at her. Beca had never thought she'd be this in love some day, that you could feel so much for someone it could hurt. It felt like looking to a bright light, you knew it'd hurt your eyes but you can't look away, you don't want to. Being with Chloe felt exciting, amazing but also scary and dangerous because Beca knew how easily Chloe could break her. But she knew she never would. She knew Chloe was the one, her soulmate. A year ago she'd scoffed and called the person who told her this to fuck off but it was true. She'd give Chloe the world if she wanted her to, she'd give up everything to be with her, even Taco Bell...

When the song ended Chloe finally faced Beca again, a tears rolled down her face but her smile hadn't faded a bit.

"Do you like it?" Beca smirked cupping Chloe's cheek to wipe the tears with her thumb. Chloe nodded and let out a soft laugh.

"I love you so much," she said just above a whisper, "you have no idea." Before Beca could say the same Chloe kissed her briefly and then buried her in the dip of the brunette's neck.

"I think I do," Beca mumbled holding Chloe against her, "because I love you, too."

 _One more bonus chapter to go... Stay tuned ;)_


	11. Chapter 11

I'm sorry if this was unclear earlier, these are the voicemails and letter Beca and Chloe talk about in the story; it's kind of like a flashback

 _Chloe's voicemails and the consequences on Beca's side:_

 _One: Hey Beca! So I never really use voicemail... I find it very awkward and confusing since I'm basically talking to no one. I mean why use voicemail if you could just call back later? I don't get it... Anyways, I haven'teard from you the past few days and you're not really responding to any of the messages I've sent you. Is your phone broken again or are you just ignoring me? Just kidding, call me back soon, kay? Okay, how do I end this- end of message._

 _Consequences/damage:_

 _-A tensed jaw from clenching it and tears near falling._

 _Two: Is this thing even on, ah it is! Uhm hi Becs, three days later and still haven't heard back from you. You're kind of worrying me here, is everything okay? I'm probably just being paranoid about all of it, I almost called Jesse to check if you were even a life at all... I wanted to drive past your apartment to check on you but it felt stupid so I didn't. Please, give me a sign? Alright, talk to you later, probably. end of message._

 _Consequences/damage:_

 _-A heated conversation with Jesse to convince him to tell Chloe she was fine and that she'd lost her phone, if she'd call._

 _Three: So I decided to call Jesse. It's good to know you're still alive and not dead or any other reason that could keep you from answering my calls... So why are you ignoring my calls? Jesse said you're doing fine and probably just too busy to call me back, I could tell he was lying, Beca. I am patient but nine days of radio silence is something completely different than being too busy to answer my calls or respond to my messages. If I did something wrong just tell me, not talking won't fix it. Don't leave me hanging, call me back._

 _Consequences/damage:_

 _-A fight with Jesse because he didn't lie to Chloe and an argument because he didn't get why Beca was ignoring Chloe and why she got so snappy everything he asked her about the redhead, causing the first visible shift in their relationship._

 _-A ball thrown at the wall multiple times to keep herself from calling Chloe back._

 _Summary four, five and six: Chloe still trying to get Beca to call her back. Every message sounds a little more frustrated..._

 _Seven: *Chloe's voice trembling* What did I do wrong? I mean, I've gone through all our conversations, I tried to remember every word I've said to you in the past few weeks but I have no idea... *a long pause including a wavering sigh* It's been 30 days since you've decided to cut me off, because that's exactly what you've done, cut me off. You shut me out like all the others, you promised me you never would. A month we've spent without talking to each other and apparently it isn't killing you like it is unbearable to me because I still haven't heard a word from you. You don't need me anymore or don't want to see me anymore, I can't think of any other reason, and maybe I can live with that but not like this; not without you actually telling me you don't want to speak to me anymore. If it is me, then tell me why. If I am the reason: I'm so- end of message._

 _Consequences/damage:_

 _-Several photo frames with broken glass laying on the floor._

 _-A photo of the two of them ripped up in her clenched fist._

 _-Multiple shouts into a pillow after locking Jesse out of the bedroom._

 _Eight: Forty days. I'm trying to call less regularly, did you notice? Or do you not listen to these voicemails at all? Ten days I've kept myself from calling you, from reaching out to you, do you even check for any new messages? Your silence is no longer confusing, it's hurting. Out of all the girls I met during my time in college, I thought you'd be the one I'd be friends with for ever, apparently I was wrong. Again I went over all the things I've told you, maybe I've said something that could've scared you off, I thought that maybe something had happened and you felt like you had to handle it on your own. If that is the case: you don't. You don't have to keep your distance and try to figure it out without any help, I am here for you. Please let me in? I know it's late but please call me back. end of message._

 _Consequences/damage:_

 _-A night spent staring at the ceiling, feeling numb from the alcohol flowing through her system trying to erase the pleading voice that was stuck in her head, a voice asking her for forgiveness even though she had done nothing wrong._

 _-Warm tears wetting her cheeks and leaving stains on her pillow._

 _Summary nine and ten: Chloe asking Beca to let her in again, sounding desperate and exhausted._

 _Eleven: I give up. I have tried everything to try and reach out to you. I have texted, called, Facebook messaged, emailed and I even added voicemails to the some of the ignored calls. What more can I do to try to get you to talk to me again? Should I hire a pigeon, one of those balloons with a postcard? I didn't stop by your apartment because you made it very clear you're not interested in talking or communicating with me, at all. So I give up, Beca, you did it: you shut me out. You scared away one of the few people you trusted enough to let your walls down, someone who was there for you not because you're famous now but because they liked you for you, or so I thought . For seventy days I've fought for you but now I'm done. Whatever it is you want to achieve by cutting me off, you did it._

 _end of message._

 _Consequences/damage:_

 _-Her phone thrown across the room until it hit a wall cracking the screen._

 _-Furniture laying up side down all across the living room, but still it didn't look nearly as messy as the thoughts that raced through Beca's head._

 _-Jesse locked out of the apartment after their last and final fight._

 _-Sitting on the floor knees pulled up to her chest and her chest aching from crying and screaming at no one but herself._

 _Chloe's letter to Beca:_

 _Beca,_

 _I promised myself that I wouldn't contact you again, ever, but I broke that promise a week after I left you that last voicemail. Back then I thought that would be the last time you'd hear from me, but I was wrong. I wanted to send you one last message. Maybe it feels like one last chance._

 _You see, the first few days that I didn't hear anything back from you I tried to brush it off. I told myself that you probably lost your phone or that you were just busy. But somehow I knew this was something different, it didn't feel like it was so simple. And I was right, wasn't I?_

 _So by the time I found out you hadn't lost your phone, I knew that you were in fact ignoring me or let's say avoiding me because that was what I tried to tell myself. But it was hard to convince myself that there was something wrong when Jesse told me you were doing just fine. It hurt to know that you weren't just avoiding me, but also ignoring all my attempts to reach out to you. At first I felt hurt and sad but then I got angry. I still am. You shut me out, just like that, just like a snap with your fingers you decided to keep me out of your life. After all we've been through together, after every moment we shared, you decided it was over._

 _Was it hard? To read the worried texts I've send you, to hear the concern and the pain in my voice when I called you? Because it sure was devastating to me knowing you heard every word of it but never took the time to answer. It feels like I've lost my best friend, someone I can talk to no matter what, and it feels like it is my fault. Did you get a new number or do you just wait till I give up on calling you again? You never turned off you phone or declined my call because it never went straight to voicemail. There was always a second that I hoped you might pick up but then it only hurt more to hear you familiar voicemail message again..._

 _Maybe I should apologize. After all I'm the one who bothered you while you obviously didn't want me to reach out at all. But then again, I was worried, angry, frustrated but above all: I missed you. I still miss you, like crazy. I miss talking to you, laughing with you and at your weird jokes, I miss our long and meaningless conversations, I just miss your company. You know me better than I know myself, well so I thought, because if you really knew me you'd know how badly it would hurt me to shut me out. Or maybe that's what you wanted after all, to hurt me, to leave me behind._

 _Your new career sounds promising, I see your pictures on the front pages every week. They talk about big gigs you play and the amazing music you make, none of it surprises me though. I always knew you'd make it. You know me but I have gotten to know you, the real you, too, in the past few years. Maybe that's why I haven't given up yet because I know this isn't you. This isn't the you who treats me on Taco Bell, or the you who calls me up late at night to tell me to go the sleep because you know I'm working too hard. The you I know, well that I think I know, would never hurt someone without a proper reason. At least that's what I try to hold onto, convincing myself there is a damn good reason for your behavior. So please tell me I'm right? That there's a reason for this mess and that you'll explain it to me? Please?_

 _As I said, this is my last attempt to reach out to you and to try and get you to talk toe again. If it doesn't work I guess this is the end, and even though it will hurt like hell I'll know I've done everything in my power to fix this._

 _I miss you, Beca._

 _Love,_

 _Chloe_

 _Consequences/ damage_

 _-A broken mirror hanging on the wall and her knuckles stained with blood_

 _-Desk drawers trashed across the room after looking for that one picture and not being able to find it_

 _-An empty bottle of vodka on the floor and an half full glass in her hand_

 _-Three missed calls of her worried neighbors asking her where all that noise came from_

 _-Chloe's favorite mixes playing in the background because they reminded her of the amazing moments they'd shared_

 _\- Beca's teardrops leaving staines next to the ones Chloe had made before sending the letter and her heart felt hollow because she had finally fallen apart and she wasn't sure if she could ever be whole again._

 _So this was the last chapter of this fanfic! I hope you guys enjoyed it and thank you for joining me on this short but emotional ride._


End file.
